As Hayden Panettiere releases her memoir, “This Is Me,” we sat down to reflect on three decades in the spotlight, the “Heroes” 20th anniversary, and the lessons she’s learned along her path to healing.

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When we meet for our chat, I come prepared with my Heroes Zoom background — a small nod to my favorite role of hers — which immediately makes Hayden laugh as we introduce ourselves. Like many fans, I grew up watching Hayden as Claire Bennet, the indestructible cheerleader at the center of NBC's hit series ("Save the cheerleader, save the world!"). But, as she shares throughout our conversation, that’s only one chapter of her story.In her memoir, This Is Me, Hayden writes with unflinching honesty, pulling back the curtain on the experiences and memories that are hers alone to tell. As we talk, she opens up about revisiting deeply personal memories, reflects on her iconic roles, and shares what she hopes readers will take away from her story.

Note: This interview has been edited for length and clarity.BuzzFeed: The title of your memoir, This Is Me: A Reckoning, definitely stood out to me. What was that "reckoning" for you — and when did you realize it was the right time to tell your story?Hayden: I always said I wanted to write a book because my life has been so crazy and so full of stories, you had to be there to believe they actually happened. When the opportunity presented itself, I thought, "This could be an incredible thing, and this is also the scariest thing I've ever done in my life."When I do things, I do them full on. If I'm telling my life story, I'm doing it 110% — I'm not leaving out any of the details. I've always tried to keep my life as private as possible, but I basically just ripped the band-aid off. It was like, "We're going for it."The only things people have to go by are the press and the characters they see me play on TV. Now, I get to share my life for the first time in my own words and put rumors to rest. I think a lot of people are going to read This Is Me and be surprised by how they previously viewed me.

You discuss some heavy topics in your memoir. While reading, I had to take a break a few times because of how vividly you describe your memories. Did you ever feel your instincts pulling you to hold back?That's the biggest compliment you could have given me, that you felt like these memories were told in a way that really painted a picture for you. Thank you for saying that.No, I don't think I ever pulled back. I think it was more, if anything, questioning whether I was going too hard, or being too honest. It wasn't something I had done before — and here I am basically laying it all out for everyone. It went back to the natural feeling of concern that people will take what I say the wrong way or judge me the wrong way.A big reason why I wanted to write this book was so that I could set the record straight. There are rumors that have been out there, and people are more than just one dimension, you know, we're 3D. We've got a lot of different things going on.A quote that stood out to me in the prologue is: "Life is a process that evolves day by day, year by year, and — like it or not — you are engaged in a cycle of growth until the moment you take your last breath." How did you grow through this process?

Sometimes, when you're actually growing, you don't realize it until looking back in hindsight. You've changed, and you don't realize you've gone through this period of growth until much later.During the process of writing, I was very focused on the stories that I was telling and how I was telling them. I was being brutally, painfully honest. I wanted to shake all the emotions off that were going on in my head, like being sad. I just wanted to pull myself out of it. So, I don't really think anything like that clicked until the book was completely done.I think what I realized the most is that I can trust myself, because I really struggled with that. I'm braver than I think I gave myself credit for.

Were any chapters particularly difficult to write?The hardest part wasn't the process of writing the book; it was saying the words out loud. I did the audio version of the book, and the very end — the chapters about my brother — were really hard for me. Time does not heal something like that.It was also difficult to make sure I properly remembered the stories I was telling of my childhood and growing up. I asked my parents to be involved and talk to me about it, because they were, you know, much more mentally there when I was eight months old. I wanted to make sure everything was right.Besides the heavier moments, we get to learn some fun facts about you, like your love of fantasy novels. What is it about the fantasy genre that speaks to you?

I love fantasy so much. Sarah J. Maas is one of my favorites; I read anything she writes. If I'm stressed out or depressed, I just want to escape into a really cool, beautiful world. Fantasy books are also great for focusing, and I often read them while on set. It's the best way for me to mentally remove myself from reality. You can focus solely on these worlds being created in your head; worlds where fantastical things and creatures truly exist, and they don't have to be realistic.Fantasy can also be heartbreaking, right? You get so invested in these characters, and then the book series ends, and you have to deal with that breakup and heartbreak. That's the only tough part about it.

This year is the 20th anniversary of Heroes, and you share some incredible behind-the-scenes stories in your memoir. You describe your time playing Claire as "liberating, like a full body release." What does Heroes mean to you 20 years later?I grew up on that set, and I was so lucky to have those people around me. Outside of work, I was dealing with paparazzi for the first time and my freedom being taken away, basically overnight. The cast of Heroes really kept me grounded at a very pivotal time in my life. I'm not saying I didn't do some bad things — I definitely was a rebel — but they saved me from getting sucked into all sorts of trouble.

I loved Claire, being on the Sunset Gower stages, the sets that they would create, and getting to do stunts. It was like a dream come true for me. It was just the best environment. Everyone was happy all the time, even in the intense scenes.I had to have a really, really personal relationship with a lot of fake blood. My hair was pink for like 3 or 4 years, because back then, it was just corn syrup and red dye. You spend 12 hours in it, and it's sticking to all the little hairs on your body and your clothes. But I would deal with the fake blood, no problem, just to be around that environment and those people again.In your memoir, one of my favorite chapters was your memory of the train fire in the pilot episode.

My cheerleading outfit was made of a fire-retardant material, so that I didn't go up in flames — and I had my fireman dad looking at me like I was crazy. They really lit that train up. Even though they had control over it, you just have to be so brave. It makes you feel so badass afterward.

You also share insights into many other projects — did any stand out as especially fun to revisit?Remember the Titans will always be one of my favorite projects. I mean, I was 10 years old, and I got to work with Denzel Washington, not to mention the other incredible actors. It was a dream come true. In Scream 4, I got to work with Wes Craven before he passed, and I became so close with the cast. We actually just did a Comic Con together, and we all came to see each other. Those two projects stand out a lot in my mind.

A Bug's Life was the second Pixar movie ever created, and I got to work with John Lasseter and people that are still making Pixar films now. In my book, it was really hard to describe the process of working on an animated movie. I mean, try getting most seven-year-olds to stand there in a recording studio for hours at a time.I did a movie called Joe Somebody with Tim Allen, and I remember asking him what his favorite movie was. (Laughs) I think it's one of the only times I've ever asked a celebrity a fan question. His answer was, "Whichever one I did last." Each project has its own incredible set of memories.Finally, there was another quote I wanted to highlight: You view the darker periods in your life, not as losses, but as "lifequakes" — something that can tear you down, but also something that can make you stronger. Is that a perspective that you always held, or is that something that you learned over time?I had to learn that over time, absolutely, because I have always been, and still am, my biggest critic. In the moment that you're dealing with these lifequakes, it's like the world is crumbling around you, and nothing is ever going to be okay again. The more of them you get past and get through, the more you realize, this too shall pass. Even though it doesn't feel like it right now, this is temporary. That's what I really want this book to be for — I hope that by sharing my stories and my struggles, that it can help readers not feel alone in their own.I hope this book clarifies who I am and puts to rest many of the preconceived ideas people have about me. I've always said I feel like I'm one of the most misunderstood people. I want people to finish it feeling surprised, and like they know me better as a person. I hope people will feel like they are not alone and that they can overcome any obstacles and get back up. It's all about how you get back up, dust yourself off, and keep moving.Thank you, Hayden, for sharing your story. This Is Me is available now.Keep up with Hayden on Instagram, @haydenpanettiere.