"I don't care if I'm a cheater. That's her fault."

Note: Some submissions were pulled from this Reddit thread by user u/theedriplomat.

"We would have sex here and there, and she told me to keep it secret. I figured it was because of our coworkers. Then one day, I hit her up. It was nothing sexual, but it was definitely a text that showed we were comfortable with each other. I guess her husband had taken her phone that day. She was at work, and I just texted her casually.

He called me from her phone, and thinking it was her, I answered. He was going wild and threatened to kill me and make me disappear in the trunk of a car. I slept with her several more times just because of the way he came at me. 15 years later, we are still together."

"After years of deep soul searching and healing, I learned I was purposely harming other relationships because I was in pain from the one woman I truly and wholeheartedly loved with all my might when she manipulated me, cheated on me, and humiliated me for fun. In some way, I guess I was trying to get vengeance on the woman who broke my young, naïve heart.

Breaking others' faith in me never healed the pain inside me. It was a momentary ego boost and fun, but overall vacuous. It's a dark stain in my past I wish I could remove."

"I've been guilty of being the other party in an affair at least twice (that I know of). All sorts of mental gymnastics occurred back then when I wasn't in a good headspace (as a result of my S.O. cheating on me — the irony) that allowed me to justify it to myself. Looking back, it's not something I'm proud of at all. It's broken friendships with whole groups, not just individuals."

"I didn't even feel bad for the dude — I just didn't want to deal with the situation, and I could see it wasn't headed anywhere meaningful. They ended up getting married, and I think they're still together. I don't know why I didn't feel bad; if anything, I look back and think, 'Man, the damage was done — I should have just slept with her more.'"

"That friend-with-benefits relationship lasted for six years until I met my now-fiancé. Once I realized how much I liked my fiancé, I told my friends-with-benefits partner we had to end things. And because of that, she congratulated me. 

My fiancé knows about her, and actually invited her to our wedding because (and I didn't know this until recently) they talk online ALL THE TIME."

"He called me and sounded really hurt, holding back tears, and all I could do was say sorry over and over again. But he thanked me and told me he would be leaving her. I then blocked her number and thought it was all over, but later that week, the woman showed up at my workplace and damaged my car. 

"On a positive note, he found a new woman, and they equally appreciate each other outwardly on their socials. So, yes, it was a happy ending."

"I don't know why it took me so long to realize that I was a major contributor to all this emotional devastation — as the person enabling the cheating, I did not have clean hands. I should've cared about what the guy felt and should've been aware that I'm not in a vacuum. 

There were real consequences for her and for him, and it was enormously selfish and wrong to think that none of those consequences mattered because they didn't impact me directly."

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.