“I was speechless and didn’t know how to react. We are no longer together.”

I'm Claudia, an NYC-based editor on the Tasty team covering all things food, whether it's a viral recipe, the latest food drama, or politicians awkwardly standing in a Steak 'N Shake.

"The next morning, he went to work, and I went into his private bathroom to shower. We live in an arid climate, and this standup shower was fluorescent green from top to bottom. I mean it when I say covered. I've never seen anything like it. 

There was a small round area on the bottom where the water hit the ground. I sponge-bathed instead, and the towel smelled like mildew, so I rolled on his bed to dry off. I left and told him exactly why."

"Underwear and bikini bottoms were scattered in the weirdest places, I'm sure on purpose for him/us to see, and there was tons of evidence of the kinds of 'parties' she was having. Gross doesn't begin to describe it. Needless to say, it's been an ugly divorce, and I'm not fond of her."

"Thankfully, he's learned about the joys of furniture, bedding, and finished walls/fun decor. Now, our house is fully furnished and covered in fun knickknacks, paintings, and memorabilia. Also, thankfully, we no longer live in a place with massive venomous spiders."

"He rented an apartment the week prior so I wouldn't find out he was already in a relationship. WITH A MARRIED WOMAN. As you can imagine, everything went predictably downhill. If it looks like someone has never once lived in their apartment, they probably haven't."

"I washed my hands and told him he might be out. He said, 'Oh yeah, I know. Actually, if you come back here again, you need to bring your own. Women use toilet paper more than men, and I don't want to pay for all the toilet paper you're going to use.' Like, WHAT?! Bro, what do you do when YOU need to wipe?! First and last time hanging out there."