“If my mom ever found out about my addiction, it would destroy her. I feel guilty about it every day.”

I'm a Senior Staff Writer based in New York City, where I've been covering classic BuzzFeed-style content since 2020.

NOTE: These entries contain mentions of abuse, sexual assault, and drug use.

"Turns out she was using a lot of what household cash he gave her for booze and drugs and ran short near the last of the month. So for two years once a week, I got a sexual education for $10 A month. I think my dad suspected something was going on with her; he made some veiled comments two or three times. He had seen my pickup parked near her house, but I had classmates also living in the area. Sadly, when I was in college, her husband died in a crash, and she died of alcohol and drugs a few years later."

"She heard us making out and made us stop immediately. (THANK GOD) I left for college after that summer and have only returned twice ever since. My mom got married to his dad, and every time I come back, he’s always trying to 'finish what we started' — I have never given in, plus he has two children of his own now. Also, this guy actually fucked my best friend, to which he had to admit to my mom and his dad because of an apparent STI. Imagine how my mom would react if she knew I had hooked up with him as well."

"One of my girlfriends from college helped me cover the cost of the abortion, and I have never regretted that decision. I didn’t want to have a child at 18. Having that abortion allowed me to earn my college degree, study abroad as an exchange student, and become a professional. Later, I had my only daughter with my first husband. She was desired, planned, and loved…and of course still is. The only people that know about my abortion are my college friend and my first husband, and I will never tell anybody else. I was raised by my grandparents, and getting pregnant at 18 out of wedlock would have devastated them, but worse than that, my grandmother would have been furious, since she came from a very religious family."

"Later, when I didn't feel like babysitting her kids, I said, 'Evan is a pervert, the last time he was at my house I saw him in my mother's bathroom putting on her lipstick, and everyone knows he likes wearing your panties.' It was all bullshit, but I knew she wasn't going to start questioning him about something that was taboo. A short time later, Evan was sent to boarding school, where things didn't go well. He ran away three times; on the third time, he was struck and killed by a car on the highway. My aunt couldn't take it and had a nervous breakdown. My uncle couldn't take it either and started drinking. Then he drove drunk, injured someone, and got sued, plus he got fired from his law firm. They lost their house, the next oldest son had a drug problem and ended up in jail at 16 for breaking into houses. The kids climbed back up out of poverty, but it took years. I later found out that they saw the stuff I stashed in the drawer, figured the oldest had done it, and sent him to boarding school because of it. I only intended to tell them the truth if I ever had the urge to hurt them again, but so far I haven't. I feel no guilt for it. They were greedy and selfish to begin with."

"I was devastated. He married her less than a year after our divorce and moved her in two weeks after he kicked my daughter and me out of our home. It’s been nine years, and I am still suffering, and I just can’t let go. I still miss him terribly, even though it’s been so long. My daughter, who is now turning 19, is the only one who knows how much I miss him and sees me still cry for him all the time. It must be so hard for her to see me like this when she is still suffering too. I feel terrible for her, but I just can’t move on."

"Since then, I have lost all respect for my brother, but I still keep in touch with him out of familial obligation. I was never that disgusted or horrified by someone's choices until then. His poor wife doesn't know to this day. To make things worse, one of his friends had a bachelor party, and the same thing happened again that my brother took part in while married. I never looked at him the same way again."

"I also suspect racism plays a part at some subconscious level, although I only have circumstantial evidence. It has never explicitly been said, but my family is from the deep South originally and white. My boyfriend is Black. Draw what conclusions from that you will. In short, the whole situation is a mess as far as it pertains to my parents. I hate keeping this a secret, but I can’t tell them yet because I cannot afford college on my own, and that is the only way I can have the career I want. My boyfriend knows, and although we both hate the secrecy and having to sneak around, he agrees it's for the best at the moment. We plan to tell them as soon as I graduate (I will be one year behind him because my program is five years, not four). Once that’s done, the ball is in their court as to whether they want to have a relationship with us or not. They cannot stop us; we will be getting married whether they like it or not. Also, I’m both nonbinary and bisexual, and if my parents ever found out that particular secret, they would absolutely disown me. That’s conservative Christians for you, though."

"I was extremely fortunate and I no longer drink."

"We have a very close relationship since I moved out for college, and I spent many years answering their questions about my sexuality, supporting them in understanding what being queer means to me. I don't think telling them about the assault would hurt our relationship, but I know they would spin it into making it about them, as they did when I came out. They would say things like, 'Why didn't you tell us before?' 'Why don't you trust us?' 'Are we not good enough parents for you to be honest with us?' So much time has passed that I don't think telling them would serve a purpose anymore, but I believe this was the start of me pulling away from them in some aspects. While we're close, I'm more selective as to what I share with them, particularly in regards to dating/relationships. I haven't told them about my body dysmorphia or resulting eating disorder, as I know for certain they couldn't handle it (they've told me this directly). Sometimes I imagine cutting all ties with them, but I know that would do more harm than good."

Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.