“My son was actually a twin, but his brother died when he was 2. He’s forgotten over time, and my wife and I have decided to let sleeping dogs lie. We believe there’s no reason to traumatize him.”

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Warning: This post contains mentions of suicide, abuse, pregnancy loss, and drug use.

"I just try not to ever let him see. He sleeps with a blanket she got him every night. She would be so proud of how far we've come. Wish she could see it."

"We are doing everything we can to help him catch up in growth, but there's always a nagging sense that this is because of the genetic defect. He often says he wishes he could be taller, and if one day it gets to a point where he hates his body and wishes he had never been born, I will die a thousand deaths."

"She's 9, and I always felt I wouldn't keep it a secret. We have always simply said he made bad choices. She does talk to him, and they have a good relationship. I always figured that was ok, and when the truth came out, she could make her own choices. But when is it time?"

"My other grandfather's 50-year-old secret child showed up at his funeral and upset the hell out of his remaining four siblings when he introduced himself as 'your brother.' Don't lie to your kids. The truth will always out itself."

"The twin brother doesn’t even know who I was that night, since he was so drunk."

"Thankfully when we got there, my friend took us in and lost it at my (now) ex. I will never tell her why we were really out that late. She doesn't need that; she loves her dad, even if i know he doesn't deserve it."

"He also doesn't know that his dad asked me if he could sign away his parental rights to our son because he doesn’t want to be his father anymore."

"He told his sisters but (as far as I know) never his parents, as it doesn’t really change anything."

"I dislike my ex husband, but I will never allow my dislike to destroy my son. I'll take this to my grave."

"I know one day it will come up, like when he learns about genetics and realizes he's the only one in the entire family with brown eyes. But for now, this is the man who is raising my son and the only man who has actually been a dad to my son."

"I'm glad he's still little. Gives me time to harden up."

"It's been a long time since his last incarceration, but at the time, he had me tell the kids he was away for work. They will still remind us from time to time, 'Remember when daddy was gone for two weeks at work? I don't want him to have that job again.'"

"The guy was a genuine, good guy with no interest in having his own children, but didn't want his sperm to go to waste. I haven't talked to him since I told him I got a healthy baby. But I've saved his name for when I tell my daughter the truth. Maybe it was wrong of me, but I was so sad and desperate after I lost my son. And I'm so happy with my daughter now. I've never, ever told anyone this."

"Nineteen years ago this month was the last time. I don't ever want him to think that loving him was not enough to make me want to stay alive. And yes I am in therapy and doing great."

"Twenty-three years later, I have been sober and have an amazing life now. I will go to my grave before my kids find out about any of this." 

"Or how when I called him to tell him that my water broke, he told me to lay back down. I started calling divorce attorneys from my hospital room."

"I also didn’t tell him that his father was abusive. I left when my son was 4 years old. I don’t want my son to carry my trauma."

"When my kids are old enough to learn the truth, I'm terrified they will hate me for not warning them about their dad."

"He's 15 years old now and doesn't have a clue."

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.