“When you see atheists say they will defend the pope...you know you messed up.”

Hiiiii, I'm Bella, a Costa Rican-American writer based in Southern California on the trending news team here at BuzzFeed.

In case you're not sure who "Couch Fucker" refers to, it's Vice President JD Vance. Ahead of the 2024 election, rumors began to circulate that he'd written about simulating sex with his couch in his memoir Hillbilly Elegy. The rumors seem to be unfounded.