One of the benefits of President Donald Trump’s stream-of-consciousness speaking style is that we’re occasionally given more unvarnished personal information than we’d expect to receive from a sitting president.

In a clip from a now-deleted video of the White House’s Easter luncheon event, the president revealed a not-entirely-surprising way to his heart: Being “nice” to him.

Mid-sentence discussing the Iran war at the event, Trump seemingly got distracted and began addressing someone off-camera — likely a person in the media, as he commented on his “great show.”

“We have a regime change. They said, ‘What do you mean you have regime change?...’” Trump began, before interrupting himself: “My friend, great show ... I love this guy.”

Trump gets distracted: "We have a regime change. They said 'what do you mean you have regime change?...' My friend, great show... I love this guy, He's so nice to me. Every time I watch... you know, we're not supposed to be seduced that way, but I am. When someone's nice to me,… pic.twitter.com/2VFPAKL4dc

“He’s so nice to me,” Trump continued. “Every time I watch ... you know, we’re not supposed to be seduced that way, right, but I am. When someone’s nice to me, I love that person. Even if they’re bad people. I couldn’t care less. I’ll fight to the end for them.”

One thing to understand out of the gate is that our brains do react to people being nice to us differently: “When someone is kind or flattering, our brain tags that interaction as safe and positive,” said Dr. Michael S. Valdez, medical director at Detox California.

Megan McElheran, a clinical psychologist and CEO of Before Operational Stress, also said that, generally, “People are highly responsive to approval and being liked or affirmed” as it “activates reward pathways in the brain.”

We all want to be liked, after all. However, this feedback loop can be taken too far (hi, people pleasers!) or lead to some complicated dynamics if you aren’t paying attention.

“This can override more objective judgment,” Valdez said, “especially if someone is wired to prioritize relationships or approval.”

The social psychology principle of “reciprocity” may also offer an explanation for Trump’s purported desire to “fight to the end” for those who offer up kind words to him.

“That’s where reciprocity comes in,” McElheran explained. “Most humans tend to want to give that same type of energy back. So, at times, we may end up in a situation where we are giving people more credit or trust than they have actually earned.”

Valdez also adds the “natural pull to return that loyalty” can easily come up for people, “even when it’s not entirely rational.”

“For some people, that response is stronger and faster,” he said, warning that the response “can move from appreciation into allegiance pretty quickly.”

McElheran also notes that sometimes that sense of loyalty can come from interpreting the “nice” flattery as someone revealing to you that they’re “on your side” — and that goes a long way.

“One big thing I have noticed, particularly in casual conversation but even with clients, is that some people turn this into a simple lens of ‘this person is on my side’ and ‘this person is not,’” McElheran said. “If and when that outlook occurs, being treated well will likely carry a lot of weight and really shape how strongly someone shows up for that relationship.”

Trump is not unique in liking people who are nice to him — we likely all do some variation of this in our personal and professional lives, albeit with our own ethical limits applied.

“This type of reaction is more common than people think,” Valdez said. “It shows up as favoritism, giving people the benefit of the doubt and overlooking red flags, to name a few. Most people don’t say it out loud, but the pattern is there.”

And that was the piece of Trump’s quote that McElheran said she found the most interesting: “It says the quiet part out loud.”

The “majority of people do this to some degree, but maybe in more subtle ways,” she said. “Most of us have been guilty of gravitating toward people who make [us] feel good, overlooking certain behaviors or feeling a lot more loyal than [we] expected.”

“When all is said and done, I don’t think it’s unusual,” McElheran noted, “but it’s just a more obvious version of something that most people have — and will — experience in their life.”

By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.