The ladies of the internet never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit.

Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Scroll through this week’s great tweets, threads and other posts from women, and then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.

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i don’t irish exit, i do the american withdrawal (constantly change my story about when im leaving, if im leaving, who invited me)

i am so annoying [remembering i’m supposed to engage in positive self-talk] i am so GOOD at being annoying

when did everybody learn all the genres of dogs. was it at school? was I sick that day

In 2012 for some reason the most expensive mascara was called something like “fuck me eyes” and every lip product was called “dick sucking gloss”

Cute until you get rushed to a hospital https://t.co/T5AKFKq9pd

little girls will insist on pretty dresses, high heels, accessories, lip gloss but absolutely draw the line at brushing their hair

having adhd is all about taking one big task and breaking it down into 12 smaller more manageable tasks and then getting scared

my friend always texts me “that’s my future wife” after a first date so that he can say “I knew from the first date 😍😍” at the wedding. but this is like the sixth time I’ve gotten this text from him pic.twitter.com/wOwXKYNbl8

tweets from 1776 https://t.co/2CUv9jRvMR

"Are you doing like a Carolyn Bessette thing but sloppier" - my boyfriend on the bravest day of his life

getting an apple watch to record my health data so the military knows i’m worthless

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

when I would smoke weed with my mom when I was in highschool she would get so high that if i called her “mom” she would feel immense guilt so i called her scooter https://t.co/ntV00LkeNL

Why can't I have the kind of anxiety that makes me clean my house

messaging my coworker who is a full grown man: hey girl got a question for uuu

not the time, iphone 😭 pic.twitter.com/ph5ptHFVK8

Why the fck are there people named Charles? You are ONE Charle.

sorry to this girl whose phone call i’m eavesdropping on but “he took an hour long shower and he doesn’t even have hair” is one of the funniest things i’ve ever heard

do u remember how crazy What Not To Wear was? the people you loved emailed somebody saying you dressed ugly and then they put you under surveillance, kidnapped you, and threw away all your clothes

Apparently British Airways requires you to select a title when booking a flight... who dares me to be the Viscountess Lingan pic.twitter.com/H9c6eEqD4F

my cousins keep saying "see you at afters"like we're leaving the club and not our grandma's funeral

when I worked in an office and people kept stealing my good pens, I kept them and my scissors, inside of a variation of this. rarely lost one after that and people busted out laughing whenever they needed one. https://t.co/fQgnwUzSsW

"stock up on your prescription medications" ma'am I am on a controlled substance, if I so much as smile too much while I'm picking up a refill they make me swear a blood oath that I'm not selling my meds behind the nearest 7/11

Weirded out by homes with no pets. Like where is your creature

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