"After two pregnancies, my wife's body changed a bit..."

As a Senior Writer and Content Creator for BuzzFeed and Tasty, I specialize in lifestyle reporting, viral human-interest stories, and travel/food media.

"Maybe she wants you to listen and do nothing. Sometimes we just need an ear and to be told we are still loved. It may not make a difference today or next week. But it will. I am 22 years post. 30 years married. I look nowhere near like I did when hubby first met me. But I know he still loves me cause he just listened and was there for me," said u/bethaliz6894.

"Realizing this is all about how she feels is the best start. I get it, you are sexually active and compliment her. Make a shift to just dating her all day. Send her messages, do little things, and book her a surprise mani/pedi just to pamper her. None of these things involves sex or alludes to how great she looks. The key is her mental health and happiness. You need to be her #1 advocate," u/Royal_Put_1021 added.

"I’m in the same boat as your wife. After two kids, nothing my husband says about my body makes me feel better. He’s extremely kind and always tells me I look good/sexy/whatever, but I just wish I didn’t have to be perceived at all. I’m sure your wife knows how lucky she is to have a kind and loving partner, because as women, we are constantly hearing about people who are with losers. 

Does she have time to dedicate to herself every day? My husband booked an appointment for me to get my hair done the other day, which I really appreciated. It actually did help me feel a little better about myself, and it was nice to be pampered. Sounds like you’re doing what you can. My biggest advice, as a wife who feels the same, is just to keep being patient and give her grace," said u/UnderstandingMany881.

u/CantStopCackling added, "Keep up what you are doing. She just needs time to grieve her body. The grief comes in waves. Some words that helped me were when I was told passionately and steadily, 'This is the body of someone who made children, who brought life into the world. This is the body I love. Thank you for bringing our children into the world."

"My oldest child is 16, and my youngest is 13…. It took me until this year to semi-accept my postpartum body. It’s been a long journey and a lot of therapy. And I was relatively lucky that my postpartum body doesn’t have stretch marks on my abdomen or extreme laxity in the breast, so very close to pre-baby. But I do have rib flares, and my hips have widened significantly. Just try to be supportive and reassuring and remind her of how much you love her and the way she looks as she is," said u/TX_Peach_Cobbler.

"Implants are a great option, but he cannot suggest this! If he does, she will never believe he is satisfied with what she has. All he can do is be supportive if she suggests implants.

I believe in plastic surgery for the right reasons. After I gave birth, I lost a lot of weight and had a tummy tuck. Between the C-section and rapid weight loss, my stomach was not going to go back on its own. My SIL did this and also had a breast lift.

I hope she considers this. She brought two lives into the world. She deserves a little surgical help if it will make her feel better," added u/SincerelyCynical.

u/TiffyQ said, "This CAN make a difference if she's in the right place. I am in a similar situation as your wife, just many more years post. Maybe saying that you wish she could see herself through your eyes or your kids' eyes, even, may be helpful? You can ask her if there's anything you could do to support her well-being overall: Is there an old interest she had that got lost with motherhood that you could take the time to help her revisit? Things that remind her who she is? She may just need to feel like herself again, but you can't give that to her; you can, however, help remove barriers TO it. Good luck to you both 💜."

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.